Giving Love Is Better Than Getting It

We all know that being loved feels good. But what if showing love to others matters even more for your overall well-being than receiving it? That's what researchers found when they surveyed over 38,000 adults across the United States.

The simple act of showing love to others has an impact on our well-being nearly as powerful as feeling financially comfortable.

The study looked at three kinds of love experiences: feeling loved by your parents as a child, feeling loved by God or a spiritual force, and showing love to others in your everyday life. Then they compared how each one related to flourishing — a measure that includes happiness, health, purpose, character, and close relationships. The results were striking. Of all three, showing love to others had the strongest connection to flourishing.

In fact, its effect was about as strong as how people felt about their income — one of the biggest factors in well-being. Feeling loved by parents and by a divine source also mattered, but their effects were smaller. And showing love appeared to partially explain why feeling loved earlier in life connects to flourishing later. People who felt loved as children or felt loved by God tended to show love more often to others, which in turn was tied to higher flourishing. The four love variables together explained 28% of the differences in flourishing scores across people.

Showing love alone accounted for 9% of that variation. What makes this especially meaningful is that showing love doesn't require money, special skills, or particular circumstances. It can be as simple as a smile, a kind word, attentive listening, or just being present with someone. Unlike donating money or volunteering — which also help but aren't accessible to everyone — showing love is something nearly anyone can do, regardless of their resources. The study suggests that the ancient wisdom 'it is more blessed to give than to receive' holds up in the data. For anyone looking to improve their own life while improving others', the everyday practice of showing love may be one of the most powerful tools available.