How Your Childhood Shapes Your Sense of Belonging

Have you ever wondered where your sense of belonging comes from? Why some people feel deeply connected to their communities while others feel like they’re on the outside looking in? A massive new study of over 200,000 people across 22 countries suggests the answers are rooted in our childhoods.

“Our sense of connection as adults is not arbitrary; its foundations are built early in the love and struggles of childhood.”

Researchers explored how different early-life experiences are linked to our sense of belonging as adults. The findings paint a clear picture: the foundations of connection are built early. People who grew up with good relationships with their parents (especially their mothers), were in good health, and regularly attended religious services reported a stronger sense of belonging later in life. These experiences seem to create a blueprint for connection, teaching us how to trust and form bonds.

Conversely, negative experiences cast a long shadow. Adults who were abused as children, felt like an outsider in their own family, or grew up in a home with serious financial struggles were much more likely to feel a weak sense of belonging. These early wounds can make it harder to connect with others, even decades later. Interestingly, the study found that culture plays a big role. For example, having a good relationship with your mother had a particularly strong positive impact in Argentina and Brazil.

And while attending religious services as a child was linked to greater belonging in places like Spain and the Philippines, it was actually associated with *less* belonging in Sweden. This shows that while the need to belong is universal, the path to get there is shaped by the world we grow up in.