How Your Childhood Shapes Your Sense of Belonging

Belonging — that feeling of being accepted, respected, and included — is something every human needs. But where does it come from? This study asked over 200,000 adults across 22 countries to look back at their childhoods and rate their current sense of belonging on a scale from 0 to 10.

Our sense of connection as adults is not arbitrary; its foundations are built early in the love and struggles of childhood.

The researchers wanted to know: what early experiences matter most? The answers were striking. People who recalled having a good relationship with their mother growing up tended to report a stronger sense of belonging as adults. The same was true, though a bit less strongly, for good relationships with fathers.

Excellent childhood health also went hand in hand with higher adult belonging. On the flip side, people who experienced abuse, felt like an outsider in their family, or grew up with serious financial difficulties tended to report lower belonging later in life. Regular religious attendance at age 12 was also associated with higher belonging in most countries — but not all. In Sweden, the pattern actually reversed, with weekly attendance accompanying lower belonging. The study also found that older adults tended to report stronger belonging than younger ones, suggesting generational differences in community connection.

What makes this study special is its global scope. The same childhood experience could matter a lot in one country and only a little in another. For example, a good relationship with mom was a very strong predictor in Argentina and Brazil, but weaker in Japan. Childhood abuse had a particularly strong negative association in Turkey and South Africa. These differences suggest that culture, social norms, and national context shape how childhood experiences translate into adult belonging.